Like it or not, the holidays are here, my friends. My neighborhood is putting up Christmas lights. I am seeing Christmas displays at the grocery store. Halloween has not even come and gone, and businesses are already trying to get us to get our spend on. Chill out, dudes. Just let it happen... it happens every year.
This year the holidays are going to be difficult for me because I will be thinking about the people with whom I spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Day. They helped get me through some real things, and I miss them a lot.
Last night I was in the neighborhood where I met these people. I don't miss that place, per se, but I miss the people. We were all struggling, and I hope we are all in a better place now... well, some of us are not. One of us did not make it. I hate that.
Tonight I was especially missing my best friend, a wonderful, amazing lady I met during that time. I love her strength, her authenticity, and her grace. She carries herself with honesty and beauty. I could tell her anything, and she would still love, accept, and support me. I just want to see her and give her a hug and thank her for always supporting me even when she was struggling. She is simply the best, and I cannot be grateful enough to have her in my life.
So, I'm at the grocery store, feeling this hole in my heart because I want to see my best friend even though she lives far away.
Then I hear a song by The Scorpions, "Send Me An Angel." Instantly I am transported back to being 18 years old, driving around in my gold Volvo 850 Turbo, listening to the Scorps on my CD player. Little did I know what life was planning for me. I was so unprepared for all the crap that was coming my way.
I went to a prep school, but it did not prepare me the the life that I would have. My parents didn't know. They wanted the best for me, and they tried to give me the best. They wanted me to go to college, get a good job, and be a normal person.
Well, I did not quite follow that path. Hell, I am an artist. We do crazy shit sometimes that does not make any sense to people who always do what is expected of them.
I've never really done exactly what was expected of me. It's not that I break rules or fight authority. I just like to make my own decisions no matter what anyone else thinks.
My parents will always tell you about the time they tried to take me on a rollercoaster at a theme park. We waited in line for a long time. When it was our turn to get on, I was like, "Nope." I stepped in and walked onto the platform on the other side, and they had no choice but to get off. Sorry, but I'm not sorry.
When you are an artist you learn the rules, and then you find another way of doing things. It does not mean you are trying to devalue or discredit anybody. It just means that you have a voice, and you have something to say.
And here's the rub, it's going to piss some people off when you use your voice. They will misinterpret what you are trying to say, or their set modes of thinking will not understand your message right away. They will be uncertain and confused because, "Hey, this new viewpoint does not immediately fit into any category I recognize. It must not be good."
Well, that's people for you. What is new is frightening because there is no certainty associated with it. Some people are willing to accept new experiences and new thoughts, and some are not.
As an artist, you just have to say, "I'm sorry you are a "no" person. Go back to the known. Bummer." For the "yes" people, it's super exciting to share yourself with them. To be authentic. To give them everything you have because they want to be part of that experience.
You can't make all the people happy all the time, and there are individuals who exist to tell you that you are an idiot.
I still have to remind myself every day that I am not a mistake. I am not a disappointment. The Universe has kept me here for a reason. I have a story to tell. Don't let anyone make you feel less than. They do not define you. You do. If you live by your values and try to do your best every day, that's all that matters.
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